I feel like I’ve been living in a dreamlike state for the past few years
As if I’ve been asleep and under an illusion
Hypnotized by the lure of starting somewhere completely new
Building a new life with new people and new adventures
But cracks are starting to form along the surfaces
Exposing the reality beneath
I’m beginning to realize that not everything is as I thought
Or hoped or dreamed they would be
Sometimes I wake up for brief periods of time
Tears streaming down my face
Heart bruised and battered
I scream and cry and try to see life as it really is
But I am guarded by a beast that knows neither compassion nor empathy
This beast is my keeper
Feeding me with little poisoned truffles of doubt and blame
Frightening me into submission
Part of me wants to escape and be free
The other part wants to see if I can conquer and tame the beast
Changing the fear into a much stronger love
I know there is potential
But I fear that it is doomed to remain under the enchantement
Only time will tell
If I’m able to fully wake and break
Free from this glass prison
Of doubt, fear, blame, jealousy
I do know that I cannot trust anyone around me
They are illusions of sincerity
At any moment they could turn
Thus Sleeping Beauty blinks awake for a brief moment
Takes a deep breath
And closes her eyes once more
Under the Fallen Leaves 