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Archive for February, 2013

(This is the last excerpt from my third grade journal back in 1999!)

Mom (a poem)

I loved you since the day I was born,

I still love you right this morn.

I would give you a rose,

So now it’s time to blow your nose.

You make me cry and you make me mad,

But you also make me laugh and make me feel glad.

I make you do chores,

I feel like shutting the door.

I am sorry I made you mad,

I want you to feel glad.

I never picked you flowers,

I felt as if I had power.

Now I am sorry I made you mad,

I want you to feel glad.

All your kindness would fit in my heart,

But I did not act so smart.

Now I am sorry I made you mad,

I want you to feel glad.

Mom I loved you since the day I was born,

I still love you right this morn.

Stop Hunting Animals!!

I am here to tell you not to hunt animals. Animals are important to us. We can learn from animals. Scientists study animals and even you can study animals too. If people keep hunting animals there would not be enough animals in the zoos. Zoos are really important. If we hunt animals so much, some animals can get extinct. And we would not be able to learn about that animal anymore. You can save animals by not going on their territory. Many people cut down trees. Trees can be many animals’ homes. Raccoons, squirrels, and birds are examples of some animals that live in trees. If we cut down a lot more trees, then pretty soon there would not be any trees left. A lot more animals are dying out besides the ones that live in trees. So please help save the animals.

❤ Me

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Hope Restored

Tall, dark, and handsome
Multilingual
Established in life
Lover of music
Big dreams for the future
The determination and drive to succeed

You’re a dream
And yet
You’re real

I wasn’t expecting you to find me
Yet here you are
Sharing your heart with mine
And embracing my own with care and compassion

I can’t wait to meet you
Seeing and feeling for myself
What I trust and believe you’re offering

You’re genuine
Honest
Loyal
Patient
Kind

And what’s most rare, unexpected, and amazing of all
You share my faith and beliefs
I’ve never met or encountered a man like you

But I will take this slow
With careful caution
And an open eager mind

You’re everything I’ve always dreamed of wanting
And you feel the same way

My hope is restored

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❤ Me

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(I wrote this a year ago exactly for my Shakespeare class. February 26, 2012, fancy that!)

Everyone in the literary world is familiar to some extent with the premise of the tragic tale of two star-crossed lovers in William Shakespeare’s play, Romeo and Juliet. Their love story doomed by fate and feuding families has since been the inspiration for many works in literature and later cinema through to the present day. What makes this couple memorable enough to be studied in classrooms across the globe? Is it their youth, their steadfast devotion in life and following into death, the tragic events that lead to their demise, or a mixture of possibilities? One aspect of the play that has a profound impact on the reader is the usage and beauty of the language of Shakespeare. It breathes unique life into each character creating distinct personality traits with which many can relate. Through his words, society in Verona, Italy is clearly painted as well as the expectations for beliefs, values, and behaviors in both men and women. The characters of Romeo and Juliet, however, challenge these ideas and incorporate traits of the opposite gender. Shakespeare’s decision for the pair to defy the gender standards of the time brings their love together in an undeniable way, yet their later attempts to re-conform to the societal expectations eventually leads to their ill-fated tragedy.

The world of men in Verona is founded upon violence, sexual domination, and conquest. Every action taken is an expression of comparing oneself to another and the driving need to be proven more powerful. Daily life walking through the streets and passageways is a tense affair particularly due to the feud between the two powerful families of the city, the Capulets and the Montagues. The cause of the enmity between the two houses is never explained, but one can see the dislike transmitted all the way down to the servants who would taunt the opposite side and coerce them into a fight. Quick to respond on impulse, men tend to think of their immediate needs first. Jokes are made at the expense of everyone thought to be inferior. One of the servants of the Capulets, Sampson, boasts to another, “’Tis true, and therefore women, being the / weaker vessels, are ever thrust to the wall; therefore I / will push Montague’s men from the wall, and thrust / his maids to the wall” (Shakespeare 1.1.15-18). This distinctly shows the enforced concept of dominance. Men from opposite sides are meant to be defeated through fighting duels, and women are objects to conquer and overpower to sate sexual desires. Primal nature and instinct tend to be initiated without second thought of morality and consequence. Anything less than boldness is not considered to be male. Sampson also challenges, “Draw, if you be men” (1.1.62) feeding upon societal standards and teasing his opponent with the idea that he is less than a man if he does not respond and fight. There isn’t any room for ruminations of love and emotional introspection. One of Romeo’s best friends, Mercutio, suggests, “If love be rough with you, be rough with love; / Prick love for pricking, and you beat love down” (1.4.27-28). The thought reinforces the need for men to constantly be above what are considered to be lesser emotions of weakness. Detachment is necessary so as not to allow one to be overpowered by something such as love.

However, Romeo challenges this idea of masculinity and is portrayed with more feminine and submissive traits. He speaks with a poetic melancholy contrary to that of the other men: “Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs, / Being purg’d, a fire sparkling in lovers’ eyes, / Being vex’d, a sea nourish’d with loving tears” (1.1.190-193). Romance and longing fuel his daily thoughts, giving him the most fulfillment and satisfaction. Romeo is in love with the idea of love, and his way of thinking is teased mercilessly by both his friends and enemies. When paired with Juliet in scenes, his male role is increasingly diminished. He puts himself below her both literally and figuratively in a gesture of submission, especially during the balcony scene. “O, speak again, bright angel, for thou art / As glorious to this night, being o’er my head, / As a winged messenger of heaven” (2.2.26-28).  A Veronese male would never dream of considering himself below a woman, nor would he put her on a pedestal to worship and revere. While the pair exchanges vows of love, it is Romeo who revokes his name: “Call me but love, and I’ll be new baptiz’d; / Henceforth I never will be Romeo” (2.2.50-51). This act of giving up his name for his love is non-traditional, even in the standards of today. Yet these qualities that make him uniquely Romeo are what draw Juliet in toward him to shine forth in strength and merge her heart with his.

Women of Verona are considered to be a completely different class in comparison to men. They are thought of as inferior, weaker, and more as objects to possess. Never would they be called equals with opinions that would be heard and understood. Pleasing her parents, marriage, then pleasing their husband, and bearing children are the life goals of which a woman should dream. Juliet’s nurse makes multiple references to a joke her husband made years ago: “Thou wilt fall backward when thou comest to age” (1.3.56). This is an attempt to make light of the sexually subservient lifestyle a woman must become comfortable with when she becomes a fertile age. Lady Capulet, Juliet’s mother, also presses forth the expected honor of women saying, “Here in Verona, ladies of esteem, / Are already made mothers. By my count, / I was your mother much upon these years” (1.3.70-72). A girl is quickly transferred from the house of her parents to the house of her husband without any chance of independent thought, action, or growth.

Shakespeare portrays Juliet in a way that defies these standards for women and gives her an uncommon strength contrary to society. Upon first meeting Romeo at her father’s masked party, she does not shy away from his forward nature as would be proper and typical of an unmarried girl but rather engages him in playful banter and builds upon their flirtation. She even allows him to kiss her. During the balcony scene, Juliet takes on the role of the leader and dominates the conversation, challenging Romeo’s motives while he obligingly acquiesces and replies to her satisfaction. She is very straightforward in her ideas and daringly proposes the idea of marriage first: “If that thy bent of love be honorable, / Thy purpose marriage, send me word to-morrow” (2.2.143-144). She is possessed with very eager and sexual thoughts than would be considered normal for a woman of the time.  Upon waiting to consummate their marriage, Juliet sighs in a highly erotic speech, “O, I have bought the mansion of a love, / But not possess’d it, and though I am sold, / Not yet enjoy’d. So tedious is this day” (3.2.26-28). Women are not regarded as sexual beings in Veronese society. She even defies her parents when they try to force her to marry Paris, risking their wrath and dishonor. Romeo gladly makes way for Juliet to be in power and rise with an inner strength.

Yet when the pressures of society begin to weigh down upon them, Romeo and Juliet succumb and attempt to fit back into their traditional gender roles. Romeo accuses Juliet of making him soft and losing his manhood: “O sweet Juliet. / Thy beauty hath made me effeminate, / And in my temper soft’ned valor’s steel!” (3.1.113-115). He involves himself in a fight to the death in order to defend his murdered friend Mercutio as well as his honor as a man, which leads to his banishment and the tragic turn of the play. In succumbing to his male self, he increases in his rash judgments and behavior, causing him to seek out a way to kill himself and others in his way to be with Juliet without realizing she was not yet dead. Juliet, in becoming submissive to Friar Lawrence’s plan and taking a potion that would make her seem dead in order to avoid the conflict of the marriage dispute between her parents, reverts back to a feminine role and surrenders to what others decide for her. In putting her trust and fate in someone’s hand other than herself, she creates an opening for disaster. In surrendering to the standard gender roles, the couple falls into an inescapable tragedy.

During their final moments, however, they revert back to their opposite roles. Romeo becomes very heartfelt and distraught at seeing his beloved lying cold in the tomb and takes his life with poison, a more passive feminine form of suicide. Juliet, upon seeing her husband’s dead body, stabs herself with a dagger in a violent and dominant manner that reflects masculinity. In death, they are reunited together forever successfully within their unconventional roles that defy society.

Romeo and Juliet

❤ Me

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Make Sure

The next time you ask

And actively look for girls

To talk to and date

 

Make sure you’ve moved on

Or else you’ll be leading her

Into a false hope

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-Me

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There is More to Love

There is more to love
Than exchanging saliva
Heavy desperate breathing
Eager fingertips exploring every inch of skin
Diving deeper into uncharted territories
Wanting release from the growing need
To possess and be possessed

I am more than my body
I have a mind filled with passion
To achieve
To create
To nurture
To laugh
To sing
To live

Undress my thoughts
Create passion with my dreams
Kiss away my fears with encouragement
Embrace my flaws
Make love with my soul

I want you to want my mind
Not my body

There is more to love

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❤ Me

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Pain Block

Sorry for the lack of entries and posts lately!

This past Wednesday I had surgery to get my tonsils taken out, and the past few days have been filled with pain and fatigue. It feels as if I’ve been swallowing needles!

I hope you all had a nice Valentine’s Day!

As for me, I’m getting another ice pack and more cool water…

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I wrote this short story when I was in third grade on April 24, 1999. I still remember vividly how I shared it with the class, but it was so long that when it came time for recess, I had to stop reading and continue it after we all came back! It’s been years since I’ve read it, and I’m happy to share it with you. I hope you like it!

 

Medival Dreams (a story similar to Alice in Wonderland)

It all began in 1946. In the state of Tennessee. My pa and I live in a farmhouse on a farm. My ma does not live with us because she died several years ago. She died of a disease that I know nothing of. The last time I saw her she was lying in bed with her eyes closed. Pa did not let me get too close to her. Now pa does not want to let me out of his sight. He says he does not want me to die like ma and if I did he would be lonely. Once after school in the one room schoolhouse I went to my best friend’s house without telling pa. When I got home there were police cars in the dirt driveway. When I went in, my dad rushed to me and said, “Katie, you scared the daylights out of me! Where have you been?”

“Pa, I was at my friend’s house. I’m sorry for not telling you first,” I exclaimed.

“Well sorry is not going to work this time. From now on you are not staying out of my sight I will call school and say that you will be staying home with me and help take care of the farm!” Pa yelled.

That was the first time I heard pa yell. So I stayed home taking care of the animals and gathering the crops. One day I saw a machine throwing seeds all around. They did this for a week. After a month or two I saw some sprouts. There was about 50 million of them. One day the people who controlled the machine came and looked at the sprouts. Pa and I went out to meet them.

“Hello there, my name is Bill, and this is my daughter Katie,” said Pa.

“My name is Bob and this is Paul,” said one man.

“Can you keep a secret, Bill?” asked Paul.

“Sure I can,” said Pa.

“Okay here is the secret. The forest is going to be magical in six more years,” said Bob.

“I will be fourteen,” I said.

“Are you sure you’re not fibbing to us? Because if you are fibbing, then I’ll make sure the police will get you,” exclaimed Pa.

“I also know that it takes people back in time to the place that you wish to go to,” said Bob.

~*~

Now I am fourteen years old. The forest is as full grown as it could be. I thought they were taller than the tallest building in America.

Finally pa has loosened up on me a little and lets me go places alone without asking. One day I went near the fores, I saw something that I could not describe. I thought I saw the Queen’s dog running away. So I rushed home and went inside.

“Pa, pa, are you home?” I yelled.

“Yes I am Katie. Is there anything you need?”

“I was wondering if I could go in the woods for the afternoon,” I asked.

“Sure you can, just be careful.” he called.

“I’ll be careful. You can count on me,” I called back.

So I went out the door to the woods. When I went in I gasped. It was the most beautiful place that had ever seen. The leaves felt like silk. When I was in the forest I noticed that the trees looked as if they touched the sky. There was a clearing so I went in. The tops of the branches were in a dome shape. As I watched the branches sway I thought about England. Then I started getting sleepy. After a while I fell asleep. When I woke up I decided to go home. So I got up and went out of the clearing. When I got to the opening of the trees that I went into, I gasped. I was not in Tennessee. I had to so I went out of the forest. I saw a woman so I went up to her.

“Um, excuse me but I was wondering if you could tell me what the place and year is?” I asked.

“I guess I can if you can tell me what your name is first,” said the woman.

“Okay, my name is Katie,” I said.

“You can call me Martha and you are in England in 1603. Oh my! Look at your clothes. Why don’t I give you some clothes to put on to fit in,” said Martha.

“That will be fine with me, as long as I fit in,” I said.

So I went with Martha to her house. She lived in a mansion that seemed to touch the sky.

“I love your mansion, Martha,” I exclaimed.

“I love it too. The Queen of England herself gave it to me,” said Martha.

“Why did she?” I asked.

“She and I were best friends in the one room schoolhouse,” said Martha. “Why don’t you stay at my house.”

“Sure, I will,” I said. I was so excited. When I went inside I found out that the inside was more beautiful than the outside. There were sparkling glass chandeliers that sparkled like diamonds. Then she showed me to my room and it was the most beautiful bedroom I had ever seen.

“Thank you so very much for the bedroom and letting me stay here!” I exclaimed.

“You are very welcome Katie, you also get a maid named Marie and I better get you dressed in proper clothes,” said Martha and she rushed off to get me some English clothes. When I looked in my room I saw a woman working in my room.

“You must be Maria,” I said.

“Right you are miss. I will be your maid and you can just ring a bell and I’ll come,” said Maria. “Is it all right if I call you miss?” she asked.

“You can call me miss and I will try not to work you so hard,” I said.

Then Martha rushed in with a blue dress that shimmered like the sea.

“Try it on Katie,” said Martha.

So I tried it on. It fit me perfectly.

“Now people will know who you are staying with,” exclaimed Martha.

“Why will they know who I am staying with?” I asked.

“Because I am the second richest in the country of England,” said Martha. “By the way, we will be seeing the Queen tomorrow afternoon,” she said.

“Are we really going to see her?” I asked.

“Yes, and I am going to introduce you to her,” Martha said.

“Well now we better get to sleep now. Look in the wardrobe and you will find a nightgown.”

So I went and found a nightgown as green as ivy. And I put it on and went to sleep.

The next day I put on my finest clothes and got ready for the carrige to arrive. When our carrige arrived I was nervous. I kept on asking if my hair looked good and other things. Martha kept saying yes. When we got there I finally calmed down. I could not believe I was going to meet the Queen herself. Everything was going to get boring when Martha motioned me up.

“We are going to meet the Queen now,” said Martha.

So when we got to the Queen I gasped. She was only sixteen! We met the Queen and we talked and talked some more. Then she looked at me and took off a ruby ring surrounded with diamonds that looked like the sun rising.

“I hope you will treasure this forever,” said the Queen.

“I extremely will,” I said speechless.

The next thing I knew we were home. Then I was so tired I fell asleep instantly. The next day I suddenly remembered home and pa. So I went to the woods. I went to the clearing. But I did not fall asleep so I went back. The next day I tried again. It did not work.

“Oh man…” I said.

“…Where has she gone off to?” Pa yelled.

“Here I am!” I yelled.

“Katie where are you, you were gone all afternoon,” he said. “It is time for dinner.”

I looked at my finger and saw the ring.

“Okay dad. I’m coming,” I said smiling.

Forest Princess

❤ Me

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