Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘heart’

I feel like I’ve been living in a dreamlike state for the past few years

As if I’ve been asleep and under an illusion

Hypnotized by the lure of starting somewhere completely new 

Building a new life with new people and new adventures

But cracks are starting to form along the surfaces 

Exposing the reality beneath

I’m beginning to realize that not everything is as I thought

Or hoped or dreamed they would be

Sometimes I wake up for brief periods of time

Tears streaming down my face

Heart bruised and battered

I scream and cry and try to see life as it really is

But I am guarded by a beast that knows neither compassion nor empathy

This beast is my keeper 

Feeding me with little poisoned truffles of doubt and blame

Frightening me into submission

Part of me wants to escape and be free

The other part wants to see if I can conquer and tame the beast

Changing the fear into a much stronger love

I know there is potential

But I fear that it is doomed to remain under the enchantement

Only time will tell

If I’m able to fully wake and break 

Free from this glass prison 

Of doubt, fear, blame, jealousy

I do know that I cannot trust anyone around me

They are illusions of sincerity

At any moment they could turn

Thus Sleeping Beauty blinks awake for a brief moment

Takes a deep breath

And closes her eyes once more

Read Full Post »

Wind whistles through the leaves

Whispering condemnations and judgments

Chattering, screeching, confusion

From above and all sides

As she stumbles through the woods

 

Roots of the established earth trip her

Almost as if with purpose

She does not take the time to brush off

The gathering dirt and debris

Increasing her burdens to bear

 

Lost alone afraid

Clutching what is hidden tightly in her hands

Reluctant to release yet knowing the necessity

She must find a place

Free from prying eyes

 

A towering tree proud with age and strength

How she wishes she could be

Is where she finally stops

Breath hitching and gasping for relief

Searching left and right to assure solitude

 

Kneeling down in the soft mossy earth

She digs with her fingers grasping desperately

Once at desired depth she reverently reaches for

Her hidden treasure

 

Taking one last long and pained look

She carefully sets her cloth-wrapped heart in the earth

Burying it beneath the watchful guardian

Where it will be safe and hidden

Until she decides to retrieve it

 

And so she walks away

Empty

darkforest

 

-Me

Read Full Post »

It’s time you know how I really feel

Uncensored

I need to extract all of these feelings

In order to move on from the hurt

The wounds

From the knife that you held

As you stabbed me repeatedly

In my heart, mind, and spirit

 

I was wary when I started communicating with you

I had been burned by so many men

Used

Manipulated

Dating was losing meaning

I feared that I would no longer know true intimacy

 

You were patient yet persistent

You said such wonderful words

You painted pretty pictures

You wanted me to get used to seeing the word “love”

And faster than I felt I was ready

You coaxed those three words out of me

 

I fell hard and fast

Drinking in the sweet nectar of your promises

We spoke of marriage

We spoke of children

I felt love for the second time in my life

It was my fairy tale dream coming true

My hope was restored

 

And then you betrayed me

You not only changed your mind

But you took back your promises

You lied

You cheated

You manipulated

You used

You took advantage of my sweet soul

You became like all the others before you

 

I loved you

I really did

I trusted you with my heart

And you replaced me quickly

After I finally found the courage to let you go

Causing me to feel even more worthless

 

The Universe has me wrapped in its loving embrace

It is showing me that I don’t need you in my life

In fact, I am in an amazing place

My dreams are being realized and fulfilled

I am meeting people entwined in my life path and destiny

I am growing spiritually

I am becoming more of my true self

I am more beautiful

 

I thought I wouldn’t find anyone as wonderful as you

Well I’ve found several thus far

And all have been better lovers

I don’t need you to get release

Because you’re not even worth my time

I’m not dependent on a relationship to feel complete

I don’t need one

 

I’m content with being independent

I will choose my friends and partners

If I want intimacy, I will get it

Because I have goals

I have a purpose that needs to be fulfilled

And that fuels me much more powerfully

 

My heart has hardened

I don’t trust anyone

Love won’t come easily

I now doubt every single act of compassion and love

I fear commitment

I’m afraid for my heart

Because of you

 

I hope that you’re happy

With whomever you’re with

I hope she can give you what you want

I apparently couldn’t

 

But you know what?

I’ll be fine

I’m stronger than ever

More powerful

I’m going great places

I’m lightyears beyond you

I’m too good for you

 

Hopefully this will help bring me peace

You’ve been haunting me far too long

I shouldn’t waste thoughts on you

I never want to see you again

But you’ll see me

You’ll see me on the silver screen

And on the cover of magazines

You’ll hear my voice on the radio

You won’t be able to rid yourself of me

I will be everywhere

 

But you will be long gone

Goodbye

62206803-Me

 

Read Full Post »

Glass House

She gazes around her glass house
Smiling at the memories
Yet you can see that it doesn’t quite reach her eyes
Instead there is sadness

The pages of letters keep arriving
But will soon collect dust
The bouquet of roses has already begun to wilt
Leaves dried
Petals fallen
His side of the bed holds the impression of his body
But it will soon grow cold

The crack in the floor of her glass house appeared weeks ago
Steadily growing and lengthening
Traveling across the room
Mirroring the steady breaking of her heart

Is she a fool for refusing to leave
While her glass house shatters?

20131011-012815.jpg

-Me

Read Full Post »

Present’s Hope

Though our future will
Crumble as pieces of cliff
Into the vast sea

I still keep my hopes
As white winged doves close at heart
That you’ll treasure me

Love me this moment
And always in a piece of
Your heart saved for me

For the present is
Our gift to each other’s souls
In beams of gold light

20130917-131456.jpg

❤ Me

Read Full Post »

Fault Lines

Your words created

Fault lines on my heart. How long

Until it will break?

crackedheart

 

-Me

Read Full Post »

A Special Place

You’ve nestled into a special place
In my heart
That no one else can reach

That special place
Has been empty for quite some time
And I didn’t know if it would re-ignite

Yet here it has
Yawning, stretching
Opening wider each day
As if waking from a long slumbering dream
Filled with hands grasping at impossible ideals
Trying to force what isn’t there
And giving false name to a different identity

My special place
Grows stronger every day
With fondness and tenderness
Hope and faith
Trust and patience
In you
Of you
With you

Although the chasm of time and distance is wide
We meet in my special place
Sharing our dreams, stories, and worlds
Slowly and steadily merging them as one
As I hope and pray that someday may truly happen

You’ve nestled into a special place
In my heart
That no one else can reach

20130325-160310.jpg

❤ Me

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »