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Posts Tagged ‘fear’

I feel like I’ve been living in a dreamlike state for the past few years

As if I’ve been asleep and under an illusion

Hypnotized by the lure of starting somewhere completely new 

Building a new life with new people and new adventures

But cracks are starting to form along the surfaces 

Exposing the reality beneath

I’m beginning to realize that not everything is as I thought

Or hoped or dreamed they would be

Sometimes I wake up for brief periods of time

Tears streaming down my face

Heart bruised and battered

I scream and cry and try to see life as it really is

But I am guarded by a beast that knows neither compassion nor empathy

This beast is my keeper 

Feeding me with little poisoned truffles of doubt and blame

Frightening me into submission

Part of me wants to escape and be free

The other part wants to see if I can conquer and tame the beast

Changing the fear into a much stronger love

I know there is potential

But I fear that it is doomed to remain under the enchantement

Only time will tell

If I’m able to fully wake and break 

Free from this glass prison 

Of doubt, fear, blame, jealousy

I do know that I cannot trust anyone around me

They are illusions of sincerity

At any moment they could turn

Thus Sleeping Beauty blinks awake for a brief moment

Takes a deep breath

And closes her eyes once more

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The princess sits restlessly in her tower

Gazing out the window to the kingdom below

Her ankles chained by fear and distrust

How can her heart and mind be safe in that big wide world?

 

She remembers the past

How painful and imprisoning it was

And still can be

Bound by lack of faith that it could be better

 

But these chains are in her mind

The only way to unlock them

Is found in her mind as well

How can she find the key?

 

The princess sits restlessly in her tower

Gazing out the window to the kingdom below

The only way to truly be free

Would be to close her eyes

Surrender herself to the void

Plunging into the depths of her uncertain destiny

 

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❤ Me

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