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Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

I’m turning over a new leaf

Finishing this chapter

Closing it down

It’s time

I’ve spent too much time

Looking back

Reading past entries

Living in the pain

Believing it was how I was supposed

To be

Dwelling on the trauma

Won’t make it

Go away

I have no choice

Either I shed my old

Outgrown skin

Or I move forward while

Not peeking

Over my shoulder

Change is uncomfortable

I have to bare my soul

And skin

Risking new wounds

But burning this shell

Will enable me to

Emerge from the ashes

Reborn

Death is the road to awe

I can flourish

I just need to

Let

Go

-Me 19072018

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Jenna

(I think I wrote this poem when I was in 6th grade. I found it in a little poetry portfolio in one of my middle school folders. That would date this either 2001 or 2002.)

Jenna,

Observant, calm, intuitive,

Sister of J.T. and daughter of John and Nancy,

Lover of mornings that are filled with serenity, books that lure you into their pages, and her admirable family,

Who feels content when curled up under her warm cozy sheets, dejected if sorrowful news reaches her ears, and blissful when it seems that luck is on her side,

Who needs privacy, an unending supply of books, and honorable friends,

Who gives thoughtful advice, her attention to whoever’s speaking, and companionship,

Who fears suffering, the end of something that should last forever, and loneliness,

Who would like to see peace between all countries, Orlando Bloom in person, and the end of hateful words and gossip,

Resident of St. Charles, Missouri,

Thomas

I was 7 in this picture, not 11 or 12 when I wrote this poem, but I thought I would share a picture of younger me anyway.

I was 7 in this picture, not 11 or 12 when I wrote this poem, but I thought I would share a picture of younger me anyway.

 

❤ Me

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I Am

(I wrote this when I was 11 years-old in 6th grade.)

 

I am queen of the world inside my head

I love to stroll about the unique lands that exist only in my thoughts

I hear the exquisite music floating about on the wind

I see many fascinating creatures that can also be found in books

I long to feel like I belong among others

I am queen of the world inside my head

 

I gain new lands as I read more stories

I can’t count how many I’ll have when it’s time for me to step down from the throne

I need to visit each setting more than once in my lifetime unless one doesn’t appeal to me

I wish others could see what I’ve seen and think the thoughts that I’ve thought

I wonder what other worlds inside the heads of others are like

I am queen of the world inside my head

62206870

 

❤ Me

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(I have so many journals of when I was younger! I found another one, and this one was when I was 7 1/2 years old!)

 

The Wind

I like the wind. I like the way it blows in my hair. It feels cold. The more I feel it the more I feel cold. I can feel the wind now.

All About Apples

Apples start out as a seed. I’m going apple picking. There’s all kinds of apples. I like apples.

Franklin the turtle

Once my brother and my mom found a baby turtle. So they picked him out and put him in a box. When I came home from my friend’s house he showed me the turtle. We named him Franklin. He was cute. He was still for awile but after that he walked alot. Then we had to let him go. When I was in bed I was worried about Franklin. It was morning now and I asked my mom if we could look for Franklin again. It was raining. So we went to find him. At first we couldn’t find him but then mom spotted him. So we picked him up and put him in the box again. A couple months later we found out that Nicky the (neighbor’s) dog ate him.

(We later found out that he was a baby alligator snapping turtle! We spotted a bigger one at a little creek near the glen by the woods in my house. This was before they chopped all of the trees down to build a road by my house.)

November 7, 1997:

Today when I came in the classroom everybody was working on their Daily Edit Test. Then we did our spelling test. I’m done with it now and I hope I get everything right! We went for a bathroom break. Then I worked in my reading workbook. I got the Abc order right! Then we sat in a circle on the floor and read the story: A Turkey for Thanksgiving. Then we did a book report on it. After that is was time for lunch. At recess Resha and I played that we were princesses and one day we got lost. And then Resha found our way back. Then the bell rang and we lined up. When we got in we went into Mrs. Hawkins room for a movie. It was called Runaway Ralph. When we came out we went to P.E. When we came back, then we washed our hands. Our teacher told us that there will be a tornado drill, and we can’t go by any windows. After that we finished our oral book reports. Then Mrs. Hawkins class came to our class and watched a play. Then we packed and stacked. After that we lined up. Now we are on the bus. I did get the spelling test right!

❤ Me

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The cloaked woman walks through the cemetery

Her feet gliding across the sparkling snow

Crystalline and serene

As her mind turns toward the past

 

It is done

They are gone

Never to return again

 

Yet if she could speak to her memories one last time

What would she say?

 

Deep breath

Steady inhale

Then exhaling her thoughts

One gravestone at a time

 

You were her first

She learned everything from you

And opened her heart deepest

First love

First true heartbreak

Emotions abused

Taken for granted

Heart left bleeding

Never fully healing

 

Then you came

Closer and more available

Yet not concerned

More content to feast on flesh

While she was away

No regrets

Just finding the next one to seduce

 

After that one you were refreshing

Dining and going out

Staying in and being creative

Closer through mutual insane treatment

By another

Yet something was missing

And was never found

 

Le prochain était français

Très bons mots

Son cœur a volé avec les oiseaux

L’écriture des lettres

Ta voix

Tes mots

Tu l’as promis

Mais soudainement t’as disparu

Jamais de retour

Connard

 

Then you came along

Making promises

Painting a pretty picture

Only to change your mind

Within twenty-four hours

Of saying you loved her

Idiot

Playing games with her mind and heart

 

After him came you

The pilot in flight school

You talked together a lot

And seemed like a good one

But the bouts of jealousy

Arguing for no real reason

Misconstruing meanings

Drama king

Forget you

 

Meeting the sweet one

And having the best date ever

Restored her faith in men

Redhead and cute

With a tragic past

But bright future

Financially independent

Yet living in another state

The distance grew larger

And you never ended up contacting her again

Where did you go?

 

She visits each tombstone

One after another

And thinks these thoughts

For one last time

 

Breathing in her questions

And exhaling the answers given

In her own mind

 

The past is the past

It is finished and will not return

So open your heart to the present

Beautiful one

You have much to offer

And should not dwell on what was left unsaid

Or unresolved

Because this new opportunity is more amazing

Than all the heartbreaks before

 

Take a risk

Keep walking

Progressing out of the cemetery

And into the freedom of the future

 

Cloaked Woman

 

❤ Me

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October 4, 1996:

I wuld like to live… back in the days of Johnny.. Appleseed because I would Like to see bears.

 

October 8:

My monster would eat bad children.

 

October 11:

My favorite vegetable is a potato Because I rilly Like Them.

 

October 17:

Today is Fire prevention day. I Learned you cant play wihe maechis (with matches).

 

October 22:

The best day I ever had was The day of Kristas Birthday.

 

(To be continued…)

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(In continuing the theme of sharing my journals from elementary school, I found the one from first grade! This may be even cuter than my second grade journal due to the simplicity and worse spelling! Be prepared to smile at the innocence of childhood… I was 6 years old when I wrote these entries. On some words, I took the liberty of translating the ones with an obscure meaning to help you figure out what I meant.)

 

My favorite holiday with my family is Easter because we find Easter eggs.

 

July 24, 1996:

My favorite sport is Gymnastics because They win gold medlls.

I had a bad day when I got sick and Thoe (threw) up on my favorite stuffed animal.

 

July 26:

I like my home because I like to play with my toys.

 

July 29:

My favorite animal is a gerble because They are so cute.

If I saw a bear I woud role up in a ball.

If I could fly I would fly like A Fayre.

 

August 19:

My favorite food is Ice cream. I hate Red hot peprs.

 

August 22:

On a snowy day I would play in The snow.

 

August 21:

If I ran the zoo I would have all the animals.

 

August 27:

When I feel wild my eyes would Trn (turn) into 4 eyes.

 

August 30:

If you gave me a dollar, I’d buy Ice skates.

 

September 3:

I think Mrs. Moxley lookes like… Ms. Frizzle.

 

September 5:

The day Mrs. Sadorf came back was a happy and all blue day.

 

October 3:

I like to read books in first grade because I love it so bad.

 

(To be continued…)

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