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Posts Tagged ‘dreams’

I can never forget my first

Love

He is etched on my heart and soul

From when I was innocent and untouched

Not yet soiled by society

Still naive and hopeful

Passionate and creative

Dreaming of a bright future

But then I was ripped from my fantasies

Stripped bare

Raped by medicine and doctors and diagnoses

I was a virgin penetrated by traumas

It was painful

I didn’t belong

I longed to escape from my cage

And so I burned my Self to the ground

Resurrecting and liberating myself

On the ninth day

My first love never came to me

He never held me

Nor did he touch me

All I had was his words

Brief glimpses of his voice that I have since forgotten

And photos

Eleven years have passed

I am now married and living abroad

He is engaged to another

Yet we are closer than before

Nothing will ever happen that could compromise our evolved lives

But I do hope that one day our bodies will someday stand in the presence of one another

And our souls will greet one another

With love, light, happiness, and peace

Because out of that tumultuous time

Came a Phoenix

She has been reborn on several occasions

Over the years

Yet there is still the innocent dreamer

Hidden beneath the ashes

Waiting

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Happy New Year, everyone!

I usually write this before the next year begins, but I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t taken the time to sit down and come up with them. I’ll try to keep them succinct this time around.

  1. Be honest, and don’t sugarcoat your words and thoughts. Honesty may hurt someone, but in the end, people appreciate it when you’re up front about how you feel.
  2. People will dislike and hate you for no apparent reason other than the fact that they don’t like what you say, do, or how you look.
  3. If you never take risks, then you’ll never get rewarded. Your life begins the moment you step out of your comfort zone.
  4. Don’t be in a relationship only because you need to be validated by the appreciation of someone else to be happy with yourself.
  5. End a relationship when you both realize it’s not working and/or the moment you find out the other person is being unfaithful. Don’t give second and third chances to someone who breaks his/her promises again and again and doesn’t value you as the special person you are. Just because the sex is good doesn’t mean you should remain with that person. Respect yourself enough to let go of someone who manipulates and plays with your heart and emotions.
  6. Just because someone believes in something that you might not does not make them a bad person. People like and follow different things.
  7. When you dread going into work, that means it’s time to start planning to find another one. If your job makes you physically ill, mentally exhausted, and extremely stressed, then you don’t need to work there. Don’t be a slave to the system for crappy pay.
  8. Do what makes you burn with passion, brightness, and pride inside your soul. That’s what feeds your spirit.
  9. Holding onto grudges from the past does nothing except chain you to the ground and prevent you from moving forward to the future. As difficult as it may be, letting go is the only way that you will be free.
  10. For every ridiculous comment or action made by an ignorant person, there is an equal and opposite instance from someone good that will help restore your faith in humanity.
  11. Never stop doing what you love, and never give up on your goals and dreams. The harder you work with your goal in mind, the closer you come to actually accomplishing it. It does pay off in the end.
  12. As easy as it is to react to what people may say or do to you, take some time to evaluate if it’s worth it to explode. It usually isn’t worth it. People will say things that infuriate and hurt you, but the only one responsible for how you respond to them is you.
  13. The sky isn’t the limit. The infinity of the universe is. So keep going beyond your wildest fantasies. The possibilities are endless.

 

May 2014 bring you plenty of new blessings!

Much love to you!

62206796❤ Me

 

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(Here are more dreams from young Jenna!)

February 3, 2000:

I dreamt that I was at school, and we did our normal things that we usually do every morning. Then it was time for our bee on the Southeast States and Capitals. I got sick in the middle of it.

 

February 13, 2000:

(I made a note that I was 19 in this dream. I dreamt this at age 9.)

I dreamt that we had a family reunion at my house. We also invited good friends of ours. When we were waiting outside a car drove up. A woman came outside and a 20 year-old boy that looked a lot like Lance. I just stared there at the boy and then I fainted. The boy and his mom rushed to my side (so did my mom). My mom could not carry me inside so the boy did. He carried me all the way to my bed. Everyone then went downstairs except the boy. He knew a way to wake me up. He kissed me. I did wake up. I asked him why he kissed me, and he said he kissed me because he loved me the moment he saw me. I said that I did too. When we went downstairs we walked close to each other. When it was bedtime the boy had nowhere to sleep, so I let him sleep in my bed with me. He was delighted to. While we were in bed, he told me that he was really Lance from NSYNC, and he was madly in love with me. I said I was too. The next day Lance asked my parents if he could take me horseback riding. They said yes. We went horseback riding. At the end he kissed me. We had many adventures together. In the end, we married.

 

November 6, 2000:

My class was doing a class trip to this one museum. It was pretty boring. Then we came across a sign. “The chute and chair flight that was under construction is now open!” My friends and I went up the stairs. My brother was ahead of me. We came to the front then. We went up this little ramp, but there wasn’t any air power to shoot you out. My brother went and did it. When he landed on the chair, I heard a voice call to him. “Where’s your sister? I have to talk to her.” I called down, “I’m coming!” So I flew down and landed gracefully on the chair. I saw a cute boy looking at me in a surprised look. “That was so cool! I wouldn’t be able to do that!” As I was coming down, he caught me. “That was beautiful! You’re beautiful!” He kissed me.

 

(I sure was a romantic, even back 13 years ago!)

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(Hello everyone! It’s been a while I know! My life has been more busy lately, and just last weekend I had a birthday extravaganza! My birthday was last Saturday, April 13th. I had quite a fantastic time, and already this new year of life for me is off to a pretty great start! There are daunting aspects as well, but c’est la vie.

I wanted to share a few dreams that I recorded in my dream journal when I was a lot younger, in case you were interested in delving into the fascinating subconscious mind of a younger me.)

 

August 2, 1999:

I was near a castle when the guards found me. They put me in a peanut butter jar. Then they put me in the kitchen. The Prince came in the kitchen because he was hungry. He almost ate me. Other people came in and almost ate me.

 

August 3, 1999:

I was in college. After a while, I could choose my career. I could be a singer, writer, or a actress. I couldn’t decide. Then I asked if I could do all of them. They said I could do one at a time.

 

August 4, 1999:

I was an ice skater and so was Tara from my school. We had to find out who was better. The winner got to spend a vacation with Tara Lipinski. When Tara was up, she scored 7.9’s only. When I was up, I scored all 9.9’s. I was the winner.

 

August 26, 1999:

I dreamt that I went to Aunt Cindy’s house. My mom was there too. We had lots of fun. Uncle Gary was not there. One day we went to a concert. We saw NSYNC. We were up front. Lance was always standing and looking at me. Then we went home and went to bed. The next day, it was time to go. So I packed. When I was in the car I checked my things. When suddenly, “I forgot my bra!!!!!!”

 

October 10, 1999:

I dreamt that we got a cd order form in the mail. We did not know but JT ordered some. Then they came in the mail. We were surprised. He ordered a Britney Spears for me!

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Hope Restored

Tall, dark, and handsome
Multilingual
Established in life
Lover of music
Big dreams for the future
The determination and drive to succeed

You’re a dream
And yet
You’re real

I wasn’t expecting you to find me
Yet here you are
Sharing your heart with mine
And embracing my own with care and compassion

I can’t wait to meet you
Seeing and feeling for myself
What I trust and believe you’re offering

You’re genuine
Honest
Loyal
Patient
Kind

And what’s most rare, unexpected, and amazing of all
You share my faith and beliefs
I’ve never met or encountered a man like you

But I will take this slow
With careful caution
And an open eager mind

You’re everything I’ve always dreamed of wanting
And you feel the same way

My hope is restored

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❤ Me

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Sometimes I wonder why I do what I do.

 

Is it worth it?

Is it worth the gossip?

Is it worth the weight?

Is it worth the hate?

Is it worth the frustration?

Is it worth the anger?

Is it worth the tears?

Is it worth the severance of ties?

Is it worth it?

 

What even is it, anyway?

 

I’ve thought about this so many times,

And the answers to all of those questions is

Yes.

 

Because I know that I am working towards a higher purpose.

I have goals in life that I have been dreaming about.

I have dreams that many would think impossible.

And I refuse to listen to the naysayers,

Those who say I can’t achieve what I aspire to.

 

I will.

 

And when I do,

All the people who doubted me will eat their words,

Swallow their jealousy,

And wish they had supported me from the beginning.

 

But I will pay no heed to their words of condescension,

Degradation,

Humiliation,

And everything negative

That only serves as poison

In an attempt to destroy myself.

 

I am more than just myself.

I am a dream.

I am an aspiration.

I am an ideal.

I represent everyone who desires to be someone greater.

I am you.

I am all.

I am.

 

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❤ Me

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