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Archive for December 31st, 2011

Eleven Lessons Learned in 2011

The year 2012 is almost upon everyone! Happy New Year to those that live in time zones where it is already January 1st!

As of right now, I’m not sure of what my plans will be to bring in the new year this evening, but I hope to spend it somehow with B. It doesn’t matter what we do; I’d just love to have my midnight kiss and start 2012 fresh, wiping the slate clean for new opportunities.

I thought I would end my 2011 entries with eleven lessons and bits of wisdom that I learned and have experienced this year. It has been quite a whirlwind of a year, one of the best and one of the worst. Without further ado, here are some of my bits of wisdom I’ve encountered and experienced:

  1. There is so much outside your door to explore, especially outside of your country. I had the wonderful opportunity to study abroad in Vienna, Austria from March to May 2010. It was an amazing experience, especially exploring the old history and taking pictures. I was also finally able to visit Paris for the first time for my birthday weekend! That was the first time I was in a French-speaking country in the 9 years I had been speaking the language! Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough money to explore every nook and cranny of the places I was living, but it was an awesome dip in the pool that is the world outside of the United States. I can’t wait to travel and explore more of the world!
  2. People, even friends, can be fickle. It’s unfortunate, but a lot of people in this world will only come to you if you have something important they are interested in knowing or getting and then not even give you the time of day afterward. I’ve encountered this in copious amounts returning to my university this year.
  3. Gossip is a disease that runs rampant and infects relationships. Don’t confide in people you’re not certain you can trust. If you do, they will take what you say, distort it, twist it around, and spread it to other people. It frustrates me how much gossiping and spreading things about people is a part of life, especially in my apartment, the music department, and virtually everywhere. It’s ruined friendships, and it’s made me realize that I can’t trust as many people with my personal thoughts as I once thought.
  4. There are some really sick and twisted people in this world. Some people are so concerned about their reputation that they think it’s perfectly rational to contact Facebook to claim to be threatened by an opinion expressed about a personality and situation (that never identified them in the first place), send long, harassing, and condemning rants in Facebook and text messages, print out copies of said conversations and give them to a law firm as evidence of “slander,” and treat a discussion as some kind of lawyer interrogation session in which I am interrupted incessantly, harassed, and bullied recorded on a laptop/webcam as physical evidence in case it comes down to a lawsuit/restraining order, spreading lies, claiming I’m crazy and using a disorder I have as a means to try and tear down my reputation, and trying to sabotage friendships with people I have. And I’m the crazy, unhinged one that is mediocre and needs Photoshop to look attractive (which I do not even own). Yes, this really happened, and yes, I’m living with it.
  5. If something or someone is making you physically and mentally sick, you should avoid the situation. It isn’t worth missing classes, being unable to perform as a student and singer, wasting away due to your body rejecting everything put into it, and feeling downright terrible. Your health is more important than homework and the constant demands of everyone else. Without your health and yourself at the best you can be, how can you do things for others? You come first. It’s not worth sacrificing your health for the “greater good.”
  6. No one deserves to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat them with love, respect, patience, and compassion. I ended my 2.5-year relationship with someone who neglected me emotionally, physically, and would rather smoke pot with his friends and play computer games than spend time with me. I poured so much of myself into caring for him and rarely received anything in return. And when I was truly struggling, his anger and emotionally abusive words came out. It was an extremely difficult hurdle to get over, but he doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship with me. And I most certainly do not deserve the words or anger or lies he directed towards me. The recovery process has been long, but I’ll be entering the new year happier and healthier.
  7. Schoolwork and busy schedules shouldn’t keep you from reading for fun. I made a goal to read 50 books this year, and I’m happy to say I accomplished it! Reading is one of my immense passions, and it’s so comforting and wonderful to curl up with a good book!
  8. Even though some people can be horrible, there will always be someone who cares and loves you. I am so grateful to my family and friends that have helped me through the challenges I’ve come across this year. I love and appreciate each and every one of you for all of your support and friendship.
  9. Not finishing homework on time is not the end of the world. Five years from now, a late assignment won’t even matter.
  10. The business world has little patience for financially struggling college students. It’s been a real struggle to find a job, and the one work-study job I have isn’t enough to live on with all of the expenses I have to pay. I’ll be working very hard to remedy this situation next year…
  11. Life is definitely worth living. No matter the struggles you go through, it will always get better. I’ve hit rock-bottom several times in my life, and this September I hit it again. My world burned down and was destroyed. But I picked myself up and met the world with full force and faith that I’ll rise above. And I have.

Enjoy the New Year festivities! Thank you for reading my work! I appreciate all of your friendship and feedback!

Much love and blessings your way!

❤ Me

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Plaguing Thoughts

Caring about me is extremely important in a relationship

Or wanting and making an effort to spend time with me

More than her. But she wins, and here I am with

People talking about how she has more of you in

Every day than I do. Why?

To think that you make

It clear that you love me and want

To be with me

Instead of her while giving her more

Of your time causes me to think that you’re

Not as invested as much as I would hope.

-Me

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